I got a flirt from a handsome South American man named Maximiliano (which for those of you not in the know, that means YUMMY in English). His profile picture looked great with him in a tight fitting pair of jeans – like I said…YUM! I sent him a note back and eventually we exchanged phone numbers. While talking on the phone, he mentioned that he thought it was really sexy when women painted their toenails. We decided to meet on a Sunday afternoon at the local shopping mall. It was a warm and sunny day, needless to say, I decided to paint my toenails and wear sandals to show them off.
On my way to the mall I noticed that my car was overheating, so I headed to the opposite side of the mall from my original destination and pulled into the Sears Automotive department. I called Maximiliano to explain my situation and ask if he could meet me at Sears instead of the perfume counter we’d previously agreed upon. After getting my car settled away, I walked to the main aisle of the store to wait for him. I must tell you, the man was poetry in motion. He wasn’t all that tall, maybe 5’9” or so, but he was handsome, compact and what there was, was choice! He greeted me by taking both of my hands in his and giving me a kiss. I was surprised by the passion of the kiss as it was deep and probing. I like that sort of kissing…but on a first date in the middle of Sears???
Ah well, we decided to take a walk and headed for the main part of the mall. He’d hurt himself a couple of days before in a work-out accident and was limping. I suggested that we sit on a bench in the mall. We sat sideways, facing each other with one arm resting on the back of the bench and one knee touching. We began to chat and the conversation ran from topics such as diet and exercise to our plans for the future and why we thought our previous marriages had failed.
Suddenly, he puts his hand on mine, looks me in the eye and asks, “Do you swallow?” I was so stunned, my mouth fell open in astonishment, which is apparently a South American mating signal for stick your tongue down my throat. After recovering from the shock and the kiss, I tried to change the subject. He wouldn’t allow that and told me, “You didn’t answer my question.” To get past this, I said, “Sometimes” and again changed the subject.
We talked on for a while about his daughter and my children. He told me that he hoped to be married in about 3 month’s time. WOW – quick worker! I guess he needs a green card, huh? Next he shocked me again by blurting out, “Do you shave?” This caught me off guard and again my mouth dropped open and I sat there stunned, blinking. I probably looked like some kind of fish out of water and gasping for air. Obviously, this is a very sexy look in South America as Max-baby jammed his tongue down my open mouth again! “Do you?” he asked as he pulled away. “No,” I tell him.
I am not sure to this day what possessed me at this point to show him my painted toenails, but I did. Looking back, I’m sure there was some kind of odorless “insanity gas” being released into the mall air conditioning system. He liked them a LOT! Then he asked me if I’d ever had my toes sucked. I told him that I hadn’t, but that I’d heard it was very nice. He told me he’d like to suck my toes, then work his way up from there and suck and lick me from the front, around to the back. “Have you ever had your ass licked?” he asked. “NO!” I answered. “Oh, you will like it…I do it for you, you like it.” The man was on a roll I tell you.
By now I’m pretty much wondering how far he plans to take this thing, I mean we are still sitting here on a bench in the mall right outside of SEARS! He then asks, “What do you use for birth control?” I told him that I believe in safe sex and using condoms. He told me, “Oh no, that’s no good for me, I’ll have to take you in the ass.” At this point, I’m not even trying to hide looking at my watch. I get up and say, “Well my car is probably ready now. I should go and check on it.” He said he’d walk with me and try as I could, I couldn’t get rid of him. He placed a hand in the small of my back to escort me back into Sears. He leaned in a little and said, “Look at me.” I turn slightly and look into his eyes. He uses his head and eyes to gesture downward and said, “Look at me, I’m getting hard.” I pushed him away from me and emphatically said, “I am NOT looking at you!”
He walks with me to the automotive department and wouldn’t you know it, my car isn’t ready yet. I’m thinking….how to get rid of him?….how to get rid of him??
He actually has the nerve to ask me that since we have so much time did I want to go to his place for a while. I said, “NO!”
Then he asked if I wanted to go wait in his car! Again, I said, “NO!”
This Sears store has an optometry shop right next to automotive and I noticed two chairs off to one side, out of the way of others in the shop. I said lets sit here. The two chairs were at right angles to each other and we sat with one knee touching. He starts right into telling me about how condoms ruin sex for a man and that he’d just have to take me in the ass or I’ll have to give him blowjobs. At long last, I have had enough of this guy. Don't ask - I don’t know why it took me so long. So, I leaned in a little closer to him and placed a hand on his knee. I said in a low sexy voice, “You know what I think we should do?” His eyes lit up, “What?” I said, “You need to go get in your car, drive home, get online and keep searching – I will go over there and wait on my car, because we are NOT a match.” He showed a great deal of regret, but otherwise took it well.
You would think that it would end here, wouldn’t you? Well you’d be wrong. About a month later, I posted a new picture on the dating site. Max-baby sends me an email right away, “Hi, how are you?” I’m not sure if he realized who I was or if he was trying to chat up someone he thought was a new member. But it was around New Year’s, so I took the opportunity to wish for him all the great things the new year could bring, including “a woman who will fulfill his every need from toe-sucking and beyond…”
